Anyone for a Book Date?

The ‘book date’ or ‘reading date’ has become a feature of our family life and really just gives a name to the simplest of things – sitting and reading together. This is not reading aloud, although book daters sometimes like to ask a question, or share a passage, or check a word. It’s the act of sitting together in companionable silence, each person reading their own book.

My son likes to read but is not a bookworm, and seems to finds encouragement in the presence of another quiet reader. And neither my husband nor I ever need persuading to sit and read a novel. My daughter will curl up with a book anywhere, but delights in having Daddy sit on the bed with her, both engrossed in a story.

Although some take place on weekend afternoons, most of our book dates occur just before the kids’ bedtimes, as a period of quiet wind-down before the lights are turned off. I relish the time out they offer, enjoying my own novel for 20 minutes in the midst of a busy evening, whilst also spending time with one of the children. And sometimes when the younger one is asleep, my husband and I gather with the elder in his bedroom and we can enjoy a few minutes of quiet company together reading.

I’m sure many parents are familiar with the way children’s confidences start to spill out just as the light is being turned off at bedtime. These are the conversations we’re willing our children to trust us with; how they really feel about things, what has been happening with a friend at school, the concerns and worries that seem to be speakable only when they ought to be sleeping. Whether it’s the hush at the end of the day, or the need for reassurance before sleep, or the preciousness of time unshared with a sibling, somehow that is the moment they seize – just as we’re conscious of the clock ticking and the window between now and getting up again for school shrinking. A cozy book date in pjs will sometimes unlock the same openness, without the same immediate time pressure. So some of our book dates are all reading, and some are interrupted – and I couldn’t tell you which ones I’m more grateful for.

P.S. This is going out a day early as, over here, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I’m hoping to post about roughly once a week, aiming for Thursdays, with doubtless a few gaps.

What I’m reading. My book group meets again soon; I’m awaiting, from Bookshop, our December reading, The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey. This book group has a rather lovely practice: we take turns to host, either at home or by nominating a cafe or somewhere as a venue. The host selects the date, usually with a poll for availability, but also then chooses the book. I’m told that when it started, the idea was to choose the book you’ve always been meaning to read, the one you never get to, the one that sits there on the TBR shelf yearning at you and yet its moment has not yet come. Book group is that book’s moment.

While I await The Snow Child, I am currently enjoying Scrap by Calla Henkel (Overlook Press, 2024). So far it’s twisty, darkly-funny and hopefully heading into murder and mayhem.